Give yourself permission to be happy

In today's world, we often let other people's expectations guide us, making it hard to focus on what truly makes us happy. We get caught up in responsibilities and think that being serious all the time is the right way to live. However, what if happiness is not just allowed but actually important for our health and well-being?

This chapter encourages you to give yourself permission to be happy and to find peace in your life. It reminds us that we should not feel guilty for wanting joy. Happiness is not a luxury; it is something we all deserve and need.

Many of us feel pressure to always be responsible, to keep our heads down, and to put on a serious face. But this often leads to stress and unhappiness. We keep pushing our own desires aside, thinking we will be happier later, once we have checked off our to-do lists or met others' expectations. The truth is, joy can exist alongside responsibilities.

By allowing ourselves to embrace happiness, we can free ourselves from the guilt that often comes with feeling good. It is time to recognize that it is okay to enjoy life and seek joy in our everyday experiences. When we choose happiness, we improve our overall well-being, making us better equipped to handle our responsibilities and obligations.

So, let go of the unnecessary pressure, and remember that happiness is vital. Give yourself the freedom to seek joy and peace without guilt. This chapter is a reminder that a joyful life is not only allowed but necessary for a fulfilling and balanced existence.

Let’s take a journey into the life of Angela, a woman who seemed to embody devotion and discipline. For years, Angela wore a mask of piety, convinced that her worth was tied to her ability to endure hardships and sufferings. Raised in a household where happiness was viewed as frivolity, she internalized the belief that being happy was tantamount to being selfish.

Angela’s mornings began with an unwavering routine of prayer and introspection. She would take long walks, contemplating the struggles of the world, often focusing on the suffering of others as a way to gauge her own virtue. To Angela, happiness felt like an indulgence she could not afford. Appearances mattered; she paraded around with a somber expression, often contemplating the weight of her responsibilities and the burdens of the universe. In those moments of extreme frugality toward joy, all Angela ended up accumulating was a profound sense of isolation.

One day, as she walked home from her usual morning routine, she witnessed a peculiar sight: a group of children playing in a park, laughter echoing like an enchanting melody. Their glee was infectious, unfiltered and pure, yet it sparked an uncomfortable sensation within her. How could they be so carefree amidst the tumult of life? A young boy, no older than seven, stopped to wave at Angela with a smile so genuine, it pierced through her somber façade. He beckoned her over, a gesture that felt both inviting and alarming.

“Oh, come play with us!” he shouted, his joy seemingly greater than the wars and issues she had spent her adult life contemplating. The instinct to decline surged, yet there was something undeniably appealing about the prospect of joining their exuberant celebration. What would it mean, she asked herself, to participate in that unrestrained joy? It sat heavy in her chest as she recalled the many times she had sacrificed laughter and jubilation for the sake of solemnity. With a deep breath, Angela accepted the unexpected invitation.

At first, she stood awkwardly by the sidelines, clutching her arms as if they could shield her from this unfamiliar realm of freedom. But as the children delighted in their games, breaking into spontaneous fits of giggles, Angela felt a long-buried part of her awaken. Soon, she found herself playing tag, running and laughing alongside them—feeling weightless as she dashed across the grass. In that moment, all her worries faded away like a whisper in the wind.

After their exuberant play, Angela held her stomach as she gasped for breath, remnants of laughter lingering on her lips. It dawned on her then that her body, a vessel filled with obligations and self-imposed constraints, was capable of joy. She felt physically invigorated, a lightness washing over her like a soothing balm. For the first time, she realized that happiness did not mean she was neglecting her responsibilities, nor did it subtract from her devotion. It simply added new colours to her world.

From that day onward, Angela embarked on a transformative journey. She began to blend her piety with joy, reshaping her understanding of both. She found ways to incorporate moments of lightness into her everyday life. Each morning, she added a segment to her routine—she danced in her living room to melodies that filled her spirit. She started volunteering at a local community centre, surrounded by children whose laughter rejuvenated her.

By sharing her newfound acceptance of happiness with others, Angela discovered a sense of community and purpose she had long forgotten. She learned that joy could coexist with solemnity—it was not an affront to her beliefs, but rather a reminder of the beauty that life had to offer. In appreciating small moments, she started recognizing her value outside of responsibility, understanding that her happiness also inspired those around her.

Let’s take a moment to consider what this means for you. Are there parts of your life that you feel obligated to take seriously? Are you afraid that being happy would somehow diminish your worth or the worth of your struggles? These feelings are common; many carry the belief that happiness is a privilege reserved only for those who have earned it. Reject that notion.

Consider this: happiness is not the antithesis of responsibility. Rather, it is the fuel that can rejuvenate your spirit and fortify your resilience. When you give yourself permission to experience joy, you foster a wellspring of energy that enhances every facet of your life.

Imagine if you replaced guilt with gratitude. Embrace moments of happiness, however fleeting, recognizing them as opportunities for personal growth. Healthier relationships blossom when you are at peace, and a joyful heart attracts warmth and connection. Look at it this way: when you celebrate small joys, you allow those around you to feel empowered to experience their happiness too.

I urge you to release the internal conflicts that bind you. Embrace an authentic life where happiness is not an occasional reward but a daily choice. Create rituals, however small, to acknowledge and honour your joy. Find friends, engage in activities, and explore the world with a lightness that will ripple outward, nurturing not just your soul but that of others as well.

My friend, as you finish reading this message, remember Angela. She once wore a mask of solemnity but discovered that happiness is an act of courage—a balm that heals just as much as dedication and resilience. You, too, can give yourself that permission. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to embrace peace. And most importantly, you can choose to do so without guilt.

Step into your own colours, dance to your own beat, and embrace the lightness of being. Happiness is your birthright; claim it unapologetically.

*Personal Reflections:*

- What are some small moments in your day that bring you joy or peace?

- When you think about happiness, what does it look like for you personally?.

*Overcoming Challenges:*

- How do you cope with the challenges in your life while maintaining a sense of happiness and peace?

- What strategies have you found effective for not letting the world's problems weigh you down?